New Year's Eve disasters

    I just hate the New Year 's Eve. I never had a good new year from what i can remember. Looking back 7 years ago i was in a rented house and i told my boyfriend that he is not allowed to come because i was afraid he will want to have sex with me and i was ashamed, so i watch a bad scary movie and slept off. What an irony that during that time i was running away from sex and now i'm addicted. The next year we had a home party and you were ignoring me and you made me feel so bad. I later found out you were jealous because i was talking with your  Romanian friends that you invited yourself. When we finally  went to bed you were thinking that you did not achieve anything that year and rejected me from heaving sex with me. The next year we were at home with friends and at midnight we took a taxi to Reumaplaz to watch the fireworks and then we came back home. A year later we were in the church and Chima was playing the drums, we fight that night because you were giving more attention to other woman more then me . 2 years ago u left me alone at Eva's house and later send me to go home while you went to a party with your good friend that betrayed you. Last year i thought that another man will take a better care of me but he already made plans to spend the new year with another woman while telling me he was going to work. But i found out in time and came back to you just on the new year's eve. You went out again to party with friends. You asked me if i want to come with you but the grief i was feeling made me to prefer to stay at home, I couldn't stand you at that time, but i had no choice but to come back to you. 

    This year i am home, and i will be working on the new year. I have to promise myself that next year i will be in Paris or Vienna or at least in a mountain resort.

     My dream new years eve is with a man that will adore me, for which i will mean the world and that is capable to make me feel like i'm the only girl in the world and nothing else, but my happiness matters. Is it too much to ask for? At least once.
    Next year I will be the one making the plans and decide who deserves to spend that special moment with me!!! I will not let faith and random to full with my life any more. It's time for me to take action. Watch out guys!